In the article that inspired this blog, the third thing that identifies beautiful says that beauty is a daring action, one that is built on your authentic intention instead of being attached to the outcome. I absolutely love this statement because as women we are always seeking beauty as an end or a different outcome from our current reality. This particular statement definitely requires some humility on my part as well as accountability. I am always struggling to reach beauty as a desired outcome, never do I take the time to look at myself right here and right now and see myself as beautiful. It's unfortunate because beauty for women has different dimensions that allows us to make excuses for the flaws we are ashamed of in ourselves.
Together as women, we must work together to always encourage each other and to find the beauty within ourselves and within our loved ones that are the traits most hide from or don't want people to notice. If we can love each other for our faults verses our perfections, think about how much more graceful and like Jesus we would all be. Think about the type of humanity that would derive from this change of life and attitude. There are way too many women in my life which whom I love dearly that thinks of themselves as horrible, not pretty enough, at fault for their own flaws, insignificant, and broken by self affliction. It is absolutely heartbroken to see these women think these ways of themselves when others looking in see such as myself looking in and see perfection. However, if I were to be honest I would have to say that I too do this.
Working through the Captivating book I can't tell you how much attitude or enlightenment has awaken in me as a woman, the book has given me a lot to think about, pray about, and give me some encouragement to change my own attitude and way of thinking. What I have learned is this beauty is something that we all seek but shame is what keeps us from seeing the light. I am so insecure about my weight, the masculine features I have such as my eyebrows, thicker bone structure, and all of the other traits that I feel comes from the men in my family as well as from the side of my father's genes. I also struggle a lot with not liking my hair enough which is something I will never understand, I always want it longer, blonder, and when I can't afford the maintenance I settle for my "natural hues" just to eventually want a change again. Ridiculous I know, but I realize that we all struggle with these physical insecurities, the truth is that we can change everything about us physically but the one thing that will always get overseen is the internal changes that need to made, specifically the attitude towards ourselves and how we define beautiful.
Every Sunday I sit in my church looking around the room in absolute awe of the beautiful women that surrounds me and sometimes I drift off into thoughts of what I would desire to have of theirs physically- whether it be their hair, laugh, voice, style/fashion sense, accessories/shoes, make up trend, or whatever else I find myself doubtful or feeling inadequate with in myself. It's actually rather common that I find myself drifting off into this thought process of self doubt and not feeling good enough or pretty enough.
Through the Captivating book, one thing that was revealed to me in my journey was that it is those very steep and voided holes within my self esteem that needs to be changed, you know the holes where our shame hides. During the Shame series at NewLife, I worked on the struggles of feeling ashamed of my sexual past which is not the greatest, I was so busy focusing on it that I didn't take anytime to work on the shame that still lingers within me about my weight and not feeling good enough. The beauty of this is that it has awakened my logic and has reinstated my focus into what needs to be changed and worked on in my life.
My prayer for the women in my life is that they too can take the challenge to look within themselves and find the identifiers of their insecurities and pray them away, give them to God, and allow themselves to heal fully and freely within their hearts so they can have a better self esteem. My prayer for the men in my life is to encourage the women in their life to see themselves as beautiful for WHO THEY ARE and not what they do or look like. It is my prayer for humanity to get on the same page of this and work together for the common good and the goal to have a better self esteem and to see the world through Heaven's Eye View.
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