Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Goals & Insecurities

In Psychology 202, we are spending a lot of time learning about motivation and goals. It is rather ironic because this is what I want to rant about before I get too deep into the complexity of beauty. I think it is very safe to say that each and everyone of us have various goals for ourselves and he purpose of goals is to work hard at something in order to achieve a new height or better level of success somehow. I myself have personal goals and a lot of them are to enhance myself physically or allow me to become "more beautiful" if there is even such an opportunity should beauty actually exist in the first place.

Starting this blog, I can look at myself in the mirror and create a checklist of things that I would like to change or improve about myself. I would love to have longer hair, a better make up routine, more tanned ski to bring out the Portuguese in my genes, better finger nails either through nail polish fashion or acrylics, an improved fashion sense (although it's gotten better), the last of my tattoos that I want to get and of course I want to lose weight which is a struggle for many. All of these wants and desires are all insecurities and changes that a lot of people agree to work towards or at the very least hope for.

I also think about why I want these improvements and what motivates me, really. This is where goals become very tricky in a person's life because in pure honesty confidence and high self esteem is very hard to come by in life. We all struggle with insecurities and we all struggle with admitting why we feel insecure about ourselves or the particular traits and features of ourselves that we want to improve on. What I have always responded to is the reactions and approval or disapproval of other people. I have the strong tendency to care way too much about what other people think about me. I know I am not alone in this battle and it's really tough trenches. There is nothing in this world that can rip a person's self esteem as effectively as other people and the taunting of those other people as well. I have experienced people's mean sides and they have all stuck with me in some weird way or have influenced the way I act, look and live. The world has a funny way of doing that to people and it is one of the ugliest sides of people and humanity in general.

A lot of people blame the media for telling people how to be beautiful and I don't fully agree with the thought and perception. I firmly acknowledge that there are some very beautiful women and men in our celebrity culture. However, I also acknowledge that not always are men and women exposed in healthy lights for everyone to relate to and find some sort of common ground in life with.  What I observe because of these particular moments in our media exposure that people are veyr quick to judge and become very ignorant towards these people on our magazine covers. What people tend to forget is that they are people too; it shouldn't matter if they have a pretty face and are rich, there is more to them because they are just like you and I. Celebrities too have insecurities and they are also not flawless although there are a few who I believe come close to it. But even still they go through same life struggles if not sometimes more than we do. We have a right to privacy but for whatever reason their rights are very limited and a lot of times they hare hindered.

Although these celebrities can altar the way that people view what beautiful is; and yes there is a huge influence on the world because of those celebrities, it is important to try and look outside what is right in front of you on magazine stands or the television set and learn that beauty should be defined and impacted by how we view ourselves and what our own hearts say about what beauty is as well. It is a hard task to do but to blame the media fully is in all honesty a cop out because we are ALL beautiful in our own ways just the same as we ALL have flaws.

It is because of this particular philosophy that I have towards what is beautiful and how beauty can be established that I look at all of my physical goals for myself and reevaluate them. Through my reevaluation I realize that it is simply just silly for me to list off things that I want to improve upon because I am insecure about them. Many of my physical goals are reachable with a little time, effort and of course money which is always limited. Women have the tendency to struggle with a lot of the similar issues and guys do too in their own way, only they don't struggle with make up routines :) Physical enhancing goals are not what should be focused on to find the beauty within ourselves nor is physicality the identifying source of beauty within the world. As a matter of fact there is a special kind of beauty in everyone and everything that surrounds us. My hope is that together myself and you, my readers commit to a journey of discomfort and continue to search for the beauty within ourselves by looking at it through a different scope.

It is a sad reality that people tend to care about what other people think about them and a lot of times they rely on those thoughts all throughout their live to have some sort of identity. I definitely am one of those people and I have always thrived on the opinions of others whether they be positive or negative. It is because of this habit that I am starting the fight and am approaching the journey of finding my true beauty in a different way. I want to be more confident and I want to look at myself in the mirror and say "wow I am beautiful" but the truth is that it's going to take a lot of hard work and sometime so that I can love myself and love the person staring back at me through my reflection. I hope that you my readers can have this goal met too and it is my hope for everyone who chooses to invest in this journey with me. We all have insecurities and I believe that those are the most beautiful traits within us, it is only up to us to become aware and accepting of it.

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