Fear is by far one of the most hindering obstacles and mountains in a person's life. Understandably so there are fears that have perfectly good reasons behind them and should exist; however, there are many other fears that are simply just excuses not to look beyond the mountain and see exactly what you can be as a person.
I have had a really hard time figuring out what I have genuinely feared about in life. Certainly I have lived through scary situations such as my abusive relationships and having my daughter removed from my custody for a year as a result. Of course I was also scared of being a single mom of two young babies and didn't believe that I could do it. But in my opinion, none of those scares were ever fears and to be perfectly honest I see having fears and being scared as two totally different things. The more I reflect I can tell you what I do fear
1.) Not making it in this world financially
2.) Never having the courage to be confident and just be myself
3.) Being single forever (yes, that falls under the category of fear)
4.) Not ever having the courage and belief in myself to let doubts be gone and accept myself for who I am and to realize that I can do anything that I set my mind to.
These fears can be an anchor in a person's life and absolutely they have been some in mine. These fears are just the start of the cycle that happens internally which ultimately leads to anxiety and break downs. These four fears are some things that I have decided to really give some time and energy to work on because I believe once these fears have been conquered that it will indeed be a beautiful thing and that I can become aware and accepting of it, thus I will be able to be able to say that I made it to the other side of those fears and have came out on the other side wondering why I had worries and fears in the first place.
I am naturally afraid of having bad spending and financial habits, I am also afraid of not being accepted for who I am rather than have people base their decisions on what I have done, I am afraid of not having a healthy companionship and marriage one day, I am also afraid of living my life without ever having the opportunity to look in the mirror and say "wow you really are beautiful".
It is because of these fears that I choose to simply continue on living my life and attack these issues head on and do something about them. Not letting them hinder me in anyway but providing awesome stepping stones to making me a better person with a stronger and more confident head on my shoulders.
I rarely become afraid of anything, but I become anxious in everything. It is through anxiety that I can come through to the other side and see the blessings that I couldn't see in the midst of a panic attack or other mindful journey that ultimately led me to the middle of no where. It's because I choose to ignore these fears and see myself afraid of anything that could get in my way that I can stand and stay, yes that truly is beautiful that I am able to do that. Through this particular journey I really hope to be able to return back to myself and others and be able to proclaim that my fears have been erased and have been replaced with peace and acceptance of myself. My hope is that others will be able to do the same.
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